Spiralling downwardly and fastly

I feel like i'm spiralling down faster and faster here lately. My health is down the toilet. I've gained 10 lbs. I feel like poo and I cannot stop. I barely ride. I don't exercise and I can't seem to pull myself out of this slump. My stomach issues are getting bad again. My skin is horrendous. Dermatitis and roseacea up the wazoo.

I want to feel good.

I want to feel good about me.

I want to ride and enjoy it.

I want to lose weight.

I want to feel schmexy again.

Most of all, I want to be healthy.

I don't understand how I can't make myself be better. I KNOW the cause of all of my issues is eating healthy. I don't put good stuff comes in. It reflects out. I mean seriously. Why is it that I have no problem working endlessly to make America's outsides glow by having him on the best possible diet but I can't do this for myself. Where is it people get that banging determination and will power from? Because I would like it please!

BLEH!

But America is doing infinitely better. His lymphangitis is gone. That sweating it really pulled that last little bit of lingering swelling out of his leg. He had his feet done and had a chiropractic adjustment last week. He's like a new horse. So I am trying to get out to the barn to work him more, I just find myself lacking umph to do that. He needs it though or we're never going to get him back to where he was. He doesn't look bad but I can see a difference in his muscling. He's happy though.

But anywho, here's this cute thing. She is seven months today. :)